Leaving for his job at an Omaha auto repair shop around 6:30 a.m. on a chilly fall morning in 2012, Dave Kroupa bid farewell to Cari Farver, a single mother he had been seeing for a couple of weeks. Farver, who was on her way to work at a telecommunications company, had been clear that she wasn’t interested in a serious relationship. Therefore, when Kroupa received a text from her later that morning asking, “Do you want to move in together now?” he was taken aback.
“I was puzzled,” recalls Kroupa, 47, who was occupied with work and responded dismissively. This seemingly innocent reply triggered a storm of anger from Farver, who proceeded to send a series of hostile messages like, “I hate you,” “You ruined my life,” and “I never want to see you again.”
“My phone kept buzzing with these nasty messages all morning,” says Kroupa, who, although annoyed, felt relieved to realize early on that Farver, whom he would never encounter again, was not the right match for him. “I thought, ‘Phew, I dodged a bullet.’”
Little did Kroupa know that this was just the beginning of a nightmare that would unfold over the next four years. He found himself at the center of a relentless campaign of harassment. Farver’s associated accounts bombarded him with over 18,000 threatening emails and approximately 50,000 texts. Moreover, he faced a barrage of phone calls and threats directed not only at his on-and-off girlfriend Shanna “Liz” Golyar but also at his former partner Amy Flora and their two children.
The relentless harassment escalated to acts of vandalism, burglary, arson, and ultimately, murder. Despite Kroupa’s attempts to evade his stalker by relocating out of state and changing his contact information, the torment persisted until law enforcement made a startling arrest in 2016. Kroupa’s harrowing ordeal is now the subject of a new Netflix documentary titled Lover, Stalker, Killer, set to premiere on Feb. 9. Reflecting on the experience, he tells PEOPLE, “She ruined my life, almost as if she had taken it away.”
In early 2012, following the end of a long-term relationship, Kroupa moved from Wisconsin to Nebraska and decided to explore online dating. Shortly thereafter, he crossed paths with Golyar, a single mother of two working as a housekeeper. Their relationship, marked by its on-and-off nature, lasted approximately six months until Farver, a customer at Kroupa’s workplace, agreed to go for a drink with him. Describing their initial encounter, Kroupa recalls a palpable connection between himself and Farver. However, their first date took an unexpected turn when Farver encountered Golyar leaving Kroupa’s apartment, a moment that would alter the course of their lives dramatically.
The disappearance of Farver, reported by her family after she vanished without a trace, did not halt the relentless harassment campaign she waged against Kroupa. Despite her absence, the torment continued with thousands of hang-up calls to Kroupa’s home and workplace. Golyar, whom Kroupa continued to date, also became a target of the frightening messages. Recalling those distressing times, Kroupa mentions how both their email accounts would be inundated with threats while they spent time together.
The threats soon materialized into real acts of violence. In late 2012, incidents of vandalism targeting cars and properties owned by Kroupa and Golyar began escalating. Tragically, in 2013, Golyar’s residence was set ablaze, resulting in the loss of her pets. Fearful for his safety, Kroupa, who had experienced a mysterious burglary at his apartment that same year, decided to start fresh in a new city. However, his attempts to escape the torment were futile as his stalker managed to track him down even after he posted his profile on a dating website.
Despite the apparent proximity of the sender implied in the messages, law enforcement struggled to pinpoint the source of the harassment. The case seemed to have reached a standstill until April 2015, when detectives from the Pottawatomie County Sheriff’s Office began investigating Farver’s disappearance. Their inquiry led to a chilling revelation that Farver likely met her demise in November 2012, coinciding with the onset of the text messages to Kroupa.
With the assistance of digital forensic specialist Anthony Kava, investigators traced the multitude of messages to a single IP address linked to an unexpected source: Liz Golyar. The evidence uncovered implicated Golyar in not only the extensive harassment but also in the disappearance and murder of Farver, her romantic rival. The detectives informed Kroupa that Golyar was behind the years of torment and the heinous act of taking Farver’s life.
Golyar’s conviction for first-degree murder and second-degree arson in 2017 resulted in a life sentence without the possibility of parole, along with an additional 20-year term for arson. While the detectives considered this a victory in bringing the perpetrator to justice, the grim reality of informing Farver’s mother of her daughter’s fate weighed heavily on them. Doty, now a sergeant at the department, reflects on the bittersweet outcome, acknowledging the devastating impact on Farver’s family.
Kroupa, currently residing in Nebraska with his girlfriend Margie Hover, finally found a sense of peace during a trip to California, where he could let go of the constant vigilance. Despite this newfound tranquility, he remains cautious, safeguarding his contact information diligently. “I can handle a movie with a shocking twist,” he shares, “but I never want that kind of plot in my life again.”
The documentary Lover, Stalker, Killer is scheduled to premiere on Netflix on Friday, Feb. 9.