One day, Liz Jensen’s son, Raphaël, encounters death in the garden—a bird, a great tit, that he discovers and brings indoors. “I found a sleeping bird,” he innocently remarks to his mother, who gently explains that this particular bird will not awaken. Together, they prepare a small funeral for the bird, trying to convey to Raphaël that it’s no longer a bird but will transform underground into something else, a concept that confuses the young boy. As they bury the bird, he places snail shells on the grave and expresses his grief with heartfelt howls.
Years later, at the age of 25, Raphaël faces death once more. While training for a documentary on anti-poaching efforts in South Africa, his heart unexpectedly gives out during a run. For Liz Jensen, this moment embodies “kairos,” an ancient Greek notion of time that disrupts the expected chronology and necessitates profound change, shattering the envisioned future.
In her book “Your Wild and Precious Life,” Jensen delves into the transformative power that can emerge amidst profound sorrow and approaching madness. As a novelist who believes in the alchemy of words, she crafts a poignant prayer or spell while en route to see her son’s body, envisioning Raphaël merging with the forces of nature—water, chlorophyll, moss, and bird feathers.
The unbearable loss of a child is likened to madness by Jensen, who perceives it as a reverse pregnancy, a gradual dissolution of her son within her being. She grapples with the disorienting effects of grief, experiencing a foggy mental state akin to “grief brain” devoid of the usual joy. Seeking solace in shared experiences, she finds solidarity among a silent community of grieving parents navigating similar paths.
Grief, akin to pregnancy, unfolds in stages, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, as posited by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Additionally, psychologist David Kessler introduces a sixth stage—meaning—highlighting the potential for growth, regeneration, and spiritual awakening post-loss.
Jensen’s journey of awakening is intertwined with avian encounters symbolizing her son’s presence in the afterlife—a comforting notion that things metamorphose beyond death. She begins to hear Raphaël’s voice and witnesses his playful manifestations, offering her solace and reassurance in moments of despair. This surreal connection challenges the perception of grief-induced madness, hinting at a deeper, unquantifiable essence of existence.
The narrative expands to explore the profound implications of the departed transforming into elements of nature, reflecting on Raphaël’s activism and intertwining personal grief with a broader lament for the loss of nature. Jensen envisions her son’s spirit shapeshifting into various forms—a poignant reflection on the interconnectedness of life and the enduring significance of every entity, no matter how small or fleeting.