Life can sometimes seem bleak.
Lately, as I navigate my way through challenging times, I’ve developed a keen interest in our ability to persevere. While there is an abundance of content on happiness—discussing what brings us joy and sustains it—this discourse often circles back to an elusive state that we struggle to attain through direct pursuit.
Studies indicate that many of the things we believe will bring us happiness—a promotion, a new job, a house, a car—only offer temporary or minor boosts before we revert to our baseline emotional state. This phenomenon, known as the hedonic treadmill theory, has gained prominence in recent years. Much of this narrative fails to address genuine pain, trauma, or sorrow, instead focusing on the pursuit of feeling good or better.
A prevalent misconception is that by simply maintaining a positive or cheerful demeanor, we can magically eliminate our problems.
While I advocate for unwavering hope, it’s essential to acknowledge that excessive positivity can be detrimental—it may lead us to feign happiness, ignore reality, and burden those already grappling with life’s darker challenges.
As Eleanor Roosevelt aptly put it, happiness should not be our primary objective but rather a by-product of how we lead our lives.
I find myself in agreement with her perspective.
How do we persevere?
Rather than pondering the pursuit of happiness, I am more intrigued by a fundamental question: how do we keep going? How do we navigate through a day shrouded in grey when motivation seems scarce? It’s about donning our boots, trudging through the mire, facing adversities with closed eyes, and simply making it from sunrise to sunset.
This brings to mind the Japanese proverb nana korobi ya oki, which translates to “seven times down, eight times up.” How do we ensure that we, and those around us, rise that eighth time?
Exploring this query online yields a plethora of clichés hurtling towards you like an avalanche (watch out!), alongside compelling research highlighting the human craving for community, relationships, purpose, and nature.
In recent years, I’ve been particularly fascinated by the enduring impact of awe, often described as “encountering something vast and enigmatic that surpasses our current understanding of the world.”
Awe can be evoked by nature, music, art, sports arenas, demonstrations, street performances, and witnessing acts of kindness, generosity, or courage (which I refer to as grace).
It elicits feelings of wonder, humility, mystery, beauty, and elevation.
Awe can be experienced in oceans. (Compass: Stephen Blake)
Studies reveal that the more we immerse ourselves in awe, the more serene, compassionate, altruistic, and resilient we become.
In one study, participants engaged in regular 15-minute “awe-walks” over eight weeks, with one group focusing intently on their surroundings and how they evolved during that period. The other group simply strolled around. The former group was instructed to take a selfie on each walk. Initially, their selfies predominantly featured their faces. However, as the weeks progressed, their faces occupied a smaller portion of the images, as they aimed to capture not just themselves but the captivating scenes around them—a tree adorned with fiery leaves, a sky bathed in golden hues, a bird displaying its elegance. Essentially, they were training their minds to look outward.
Their smiles grew broader over time.
Delving into this extensive research and documenting my insights on this phenomenon has been transformative, motivating me to actively seek moments of awe.
Endurance is a triumph
True resilience is often best observed by witnessing how others navigate challenges and by immersing ourselves in the cultural milieu.
Arthur Kleinman, a psychology professor at Harvard, discovered during his health research in Taiwan in 1969 that many Chinese individuals emphasized the importance of learning to endure. Against the backdrop of China’s tumultuous 20th-century history—including the fall of the Qing dynasty, the devastation of World War II claiming 20 million Chinese lives, Maoist upheavals, and oppressive regimes in Taiwan—endurance became a cultural cornerstone.
Kleinman notes that instead of fixating on why people succumb to burnout, we should focus on how they persevere. He underscores that enduring entails withstanding, surviving, enduring, and tolerating, rather than the superficially optimistic notion of ‘resilience’ implying a swift return to robust health and happiness. Those who have grappled with personal pain or loss understand that these experiences, even when left behind, leave indelible imprints that shape their lives profoundly.
In the upcoming weeks and months, I will delve into stories of resilience and endurance in this column, titled Staying Upright. If you know of compelling narratives within your community or individuals whose untold stories and remarkable strength have left you in awe, please reach out to me via email .
I will also explore relevant research findings. I am fascinated by scientists’ endeavors to quantify the immeasurable—qualities like resilience, grace, or awe—using indicators such as goosebumps, heart rate, or selfies. While their pursuits may seem daunting, I commend their efforts and am consistently amazed by their revelations on how we can craft lives rich in purpose as we navigate the complexities of existence together.
Recently, Professor Kleinman shared with me: “Learning to endure with a blend of joy and sorrow, emotional fortitude and moral fervor, irony and hope, is integral to our quest for the art of living. The key lies in recognizing the perils and opportunities, as articulated by William James, and embracing life without fear.”