A particularly captivating and exquisite melody filled the airwaves, captivating my attention. Although unfamiliar with the composition, I found myself listening intently, allowing the music to envelop me. Yet, amidst this immersive experience, I realized a peculiar urge within me—a desire to possess the music, to claim it as my own.
Mere enjoyment of the moment seemed insufficient. I felt compelled to commit the music to memory, to dissect and comprehend its essence. However, in this pursuit, the purity of my initial enjoyment waned. I ceased to truly listen, losing myself in the analytical process rather than being present in the moment as the music flowed through me.
What hindered my ability to fully immerse myself in that moment? Reflecting on this question brought to mind the teachings of the humanistic psychologist, Eric Fromm. In his seminal work “To Have or To Be?” Fromm delineated the dichotomy between “having” and “being” as contrasting life philosophies.
Fromm elucidated how the prevailing cultural ethos of acquisition, the “having” mindset, underpins many personal and societal challenges. This mindset, deeply ingrained in us, can overshadow our capacity for authentic existence.
The prevalence of the having mindset poses a fundamental dilemma for humanity. Fromm posited that this mindset stems from a materialistic culture that prioritizes possession over essence.
Subsequent to Fromm’s groundbreaking insights, numerous psychologists have underscored the detrimental effects of a materialistic orientation on mental well-being, manifesting in various psychological maladies. Even in the absence of severe psychological distress, a materialistic outlook can impede one’s holistic development and maturation.
It often appears as though life is akin to a grandiose game of Monopoly played in real-time. We fixate on accumulating wealth and assets, seeking to outmaneuver fellow players.
Recalling the childhood joy of playing Monopoly, I reminisced about the thrill of success and the despair of setbacks. The experience of financial ruin or reliance on chance to stay afloat resonated deeply. Regrettably, we seem to have translated the richness of life—replete with opportunities for growth—into a dehumanizing contest focused solely on monetary gain.
The emotional repercussions of consumerism are palpable, yet individuals seldom correlate their emotional well-being with their worldview and values. True contentment necessitates minimal material possessions, juxtaposed with a sense of purpose, meaningful relationships, agency, well-being, and security.
Resisting the allure of the having mindset proves challenging, given society’s systemic structures. Yet, by acknowledging the choices before us and the societal pressures exerted, we can navigate our lives towards either a path of acquisition or authentic existence.
In doing so, we cultivate the ability to savor music without the need to possess it, to admire wildflowers during a leisurely stroll without plucking them, and to engage more harmoniously and genuinely with the world. For some, this embodies a more fulfilling way of life.
While relinquishing the having mindset entirely may pose challenges, research indicates that each stride towards embracing the ethos of being yields profound benefits, fostering a life imbued with greater happiness and contentment.