Following the courageous disclosures by Charles Spencer in his publication, Gaby Hinsliff affirms the psychological distress experienced by numerous children who were enrolled in boarding schools. While acknowledging this, she notes that the term “boarding school syndrome” is a relatively recent concept with some ambiguity around its definition. In contrast, the book “Boarding School Syndrome” is the culmination of over three decades of research, drawing on extensive data derived from clinical practice observations and interviews with former boarders.
The term “boarding school syndrome” was coined to characterize the distinct psychological patterns observed in adults seeking therapy, profoundly affected by their early boarding school experiences. These individuals, much like Spencer, endured feelings of abandonment, loss, and confinement during crucial developmental stages of their youth. Some also grappled with the additional trauma stemming from harsh disciplinary measures and prevalent sexual abuse. The comprehensive research detailed in the book is further corroborated by the work of Nick Duffell, reinforcing the validity and acceptance of this concept among clinicians and the general populace, as evidenced by its adoption in journalistic narratives by figures like Alex Renton and George Monbiot.
Prof Joy Schaverien London
In response to Hinsliff’s emphasis on the egregious abuses perpetuated within Britain’s traditional boarding school system, it is lamentable that public attention is often piqued only when celebrities share their memoirs. Over the past three decades, a collaborative effort has been undertaken by myself and colleagues to provide therapeutic support to numerous “boarding school survivors.” Through various publications, such as “The Making of Them,” we have underscored the normalized neglect within these environments that often facilitates instances of abuse and necessitates a process of compensatory survival. Central to this discourse is the recognition that the normalization of neglect, inherent to the boarding school culture, constitutes a form of trauma in itself, irrespective of overt instances of maltreatment.
While Hinsliff references Penny Cavenagh’s notion of parental love as a potential mitigating factor for boarders, it is precisely this aspect that inflicts deep wounds upon former boarders. The pervasive sentiment of “If she loved me, why did she send me away?” encapsulates the inner turmoil experienced by many, echoing a sentiment of bewildered abandonment. Until society ceases to prioritize the grooming of elites at the expense of a nurturing childhood, the cycle of abuse perpetuated by the boarding school system will persist, fostering a generation of leaders who are detached from their vulnerability due to the early denial of maternal bonds.
Nick Duffell Psychotherapist, London
Reflecting on my own harrowing experiences at boarding schools in my formative years, I recognize the development of a survival mechanism characterized by humor and detachment as a means of self-preservation. However, the most disheartening aspect of the pervasive “old boys’ network” mentality is the uncritical embrace of a narrative that glorifies the boarding school experience, dismissing any critique as an affront to their cultivated facade of resilience and camaraderie.
Alan Ravenscroft London
As a former boarding school attendee, my tenure at such an institution in the early 1970s left an indelible mark on my life. Contrary to the misconception that only boys endured bullying and misery, my firsthand encounter underscores the pervasive cruelty and neglect that also afflicted female students. The teachers’ callous demeanor, coupled with the hostile environment among peers, fostered a sense of abandonment and emotional scarring that continues to resonate decades later.
Heather Pitt Rushden, Northamptonshire
My professional engagements within both state and private educational settings have exposed me to the poignant reality of emotional deprivation among financially privileged yet emotionally neglected boarding school students. The anecdote of a pupil spending Christmas with a teacher’s family due to parental unavailability highlights the systemic issue of emotional voids prevalent within these institutions.
Fenella Barnes Maldon, Essex
In her narrative, Hinsliff draws attention to Earl Spencer’s correlation between the inflicted pain by the upper classes and their own traumatic boarding school experiences, encapsulated by Mark Stibbe’s apt description of such schools as “orphanages for the privileged.”
Hatty Calbus Manchester
It is crucial to dispel the misconception that all boarding school attendees hail from affluent backgrounds, as individuals from diverse socioeconomic strata have also grappled with the lasting repercussions of their boarding school encounters. The trauma associated with boarding school experiences transcends class distinctions, emphasizing the imperative of acknowledging and addressing the pervasive impact of such environments.
Caroline Robinson-Day Hertford
Contrary to the dichotomous portrayal of boarding school experiences as either inherently damaging or enriching, there exist narratives of individuals who found solace and fulfillment within these settings. The ability of boarding schools to provide an escape from tumultuous home environments underscores the nuanced nature of these experiences, with some individuals attributing their personal growth and enduring friendships to their time spent in boarding school.