Lately, I have found myself contemplating whether to attend the commemoration of my college housemate’s life organized by his family in Nantucket following his recent passing. Back in my senior year, I resided in a charming four-bedroom California bungalow with three other individuals near the campus. Among them was my dear friend, with whom I shared many enjoyable moments. Looking back, I regret not making more efforts to reconnect with him over the years. Our last in-person meeting dates back to 2010 when he was still residing close to my hometown.
In an attempt to gather my thoughts on attending the event, I reached out to another former housemate, Jim, whom I had not conversed with in years. In a hushed tone, I asked, “Jim, do you plan on attending the celebration?” Despite a poor phone connection, we navigated through the conversation, reminiscing about our failed attempts to organize a reunion back in 2010 during my visit. The topic shifted to the logistics of traveling to Nantucket, accommodation costs, and the journey from West Texas. Both of us expressed remorse over the lost years of communication. Jim shared a poignant saying from his father, “I would rather be seen than viewed.”
The fragility of life has become increasingly apparent to me, with more funerals than weddings attended in the past couple of years—a stark reminder of the passage of time. A close friend once described life in three phases: the go-go phase, the slow-go phase, and the no-go phase. While I would like to believe I am still in the go-go phase, reality nudges me towards accepting the slower pace of the present phase.
As the arrival of spring signals a new beginning in my current phase, I feel compelled to revisit my bucket list and reach out to old friends. Have you considered reconnecting with long-lost friends or drafting a bucket list of your own? Despite the constraints of finances, responsibilities, and the busyness of life, taking a moment to reflect on these connections can be truly rewarding.
I invite you to dedicate a few minutes today to compile your bucket list and outline the friends you wish to reconnect with. Following this exercise, let’s engage in a brief visual meditation incorporating breath work and mantras centered around your aspirations and relationships. To guide you through this practice, I will share an example from my own bucket list.
Find a comfortable seated position, grounding your feet firmly on the floor. Take ten deep breaths, focusing on the inhalation and exhalation. Allow each breath to expand your chest and nourish your body. Maintain a relaxed jaw and ensure your head is balanced over your shoulders. Begin visualizing an item from your bucket list—perhaps envisioning a safari adventure in East Africa. Immerse yourself in the sights, sounds, and sensations of this mental imagery, involving all your senses.
If your thoughts wander, gently redirect your focus to your breath. Introduce a friend you wish to reconnect with into this visualization. Whether sharing the safari experience or engaging in a heartfelt conversation, let the scene unfold naturally. Accompany each breath with a mantra related to your friend or bucket list item. Envision a specific time or date for this envisioned interaction, anchoring it in the present moment.
Embrace the spirit of renewal as spring approaches. While regrets may linger regarding missed opportunities, I encourage you to shift your focus to the present. Inhale the possibilities of today, exhaling the weight of the past. Feel free to share your reflections with me.